


Blue Cheese

by DancingInTheRain34



Series: Patchwork [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cultural Differences, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hobbit Culture, Oblivious Bilbo, Rivendell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 15:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3452429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingInTheRain34/pseuds/DancingInTheRain34
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which cultural confusion abounds in Rivendell. The company is horrified, Balin is smug and Bilbo is oblivious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Cheese

“He wouldn’t.” Kili muttered edgily. “Look at it, it’s gone off completely. Even the elves wouldn’t eat it.” A vague nod from his brother was the only answer he received, the company’s attention entirely fixated on the oblivious hobbit. “He’s the fussiest thing in Middle Earth, surely he won’t...” Kili continued doggedly.

No one answered. Kili fidgeted. And then kicked Balin who glared at him. “What do you think? I mean, it stinks! I can smell it from here.” Balin hid a smirk as he listened to the complaint and pretended to ponder the conundrum. “Yes... I mean it is completely riddled with mould, isn’t it...”

“Exactly!” Kili agreed excitedly.

“To be honest, one might think that our hobbit would have to be, well, mad to even think about eating such a thing.”

“That’s just what I mean!”

“I mean, just the colour... It’s blue.”

“Yes! Blue!” Kili was almost bouncing with agreement.

Balin paused.

“One bag of gold, he eats the whole thing.”

“Of course!” Kili accorded enthusiastically. “Wait... What?” He questioned-

-Just as Bilbo, still completely unconscious of his audience, (aka, the whole company attempting and failing to hide behind a single pillar), shrugged genially ‘If Bombur’s allowed to do it, so am I’ and stuffed the whole block of cheese into his mouth.

Kili’s jaw dropped. Balin just smiled beatifically.

“Mmmm. Delicious.” Bilbo smiled, settling his hands on his happy stomach before at last catching sight of the company. “Oh, hello there! They have the most wonderful Stilton here, you know! If only you came by earlier, I could have shared.” Still gaping, Kili dropped a small money bag of gold by Balin's feet and then staggered off. To be sick. All over the the poncy, elvish, bathroom floor.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! Please review but please be nice as this is my first ever fic! Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
